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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

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I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

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A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

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I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

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The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

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I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

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If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

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Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

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Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

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Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.

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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

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The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

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Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

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A hen is only an egg??s way of making another egg.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.